Wisdom From A Spliff.

Be honest. Have you heard of this dish called 'Malaysian Curry'?

Effect of 1 too many spliff 

I'm not sure about you but yes I've heard of it although I haven't had the chance to taste it. Apparently this 'Malaysia Curry' exist. Ask Gordon Ramsay. I would love to try if I come across one but I do not think I will. Ever.

I came to know the existence of this dish from one of Gordon's tv show. He was going through some students survival kit called 'The Fridge'. Finding nothing but rubbish in it (Rubbish to you, Gordon but manna to us, students), he continues to teach them the very simple dish known as the 'Malaysian Curry', ranting to them students about eating real proper food as he puts the dish together. What Gordon fails to understand is this science called: 'Prudence Spending'

photo: http://jollypeople.com

Why do we have a piggy bank labelled 'Beer Money' in large capital letters, Gordon? The reason is very simply. About 40% of our pocket money goes to 'Super Skunk', 'Jack Herer', 'White Widow' and 'Super Lemon Haze', another 10% for some colourful bong bought at Camden Market, 20% for late night kebabs, parmo, chinese takeaway and glorious food from the chippy, of course. Now that leaves us with about one third of our monkeys that has to be thriftily spent on proper nonsense as described by Gordon. In pure simply English, we are skint. 

Be honest again. Can you ever win an argument with Gordon Ramsay? Yes I can but with the sort of temper of his, I rather not win it because it might be a short lived one. I wouldn't be surprise to get a royal wanton lashing complete with a barrage of Spitfire's Browning machine gun, Hispano cannon and both its 250 pound bombs out of his mouth. Lock, stock and barrel.

This now brings me to my  thoughts of the numerous amount of food connoisseur here at home. With the power of the internet and cheap digital photography, a numbnut can now be called a food critic and food connoisseur. They travel, spend some money on food and then put up on their blog commenting about the ambience, the quality of food, memories that it evokes, how much money the owner makes, how dirty the toilet is, how many cockroaches they find under some framed picture and everything under the sun. 

What tickles me about these self proclaimed connoisseur  is the amount of misinformation and what my mother would say, 'act smart' coming from them. It looks as if, there is so much of it, it doesn't just ooze out but in an uncontrolled manner like the Niagara Falls. One bloke wrote about being in a kopitiam and how it reminds him of his lad days where his father would bring him to sip coffee while seeing the glory of day passes by. Oooo…. very nostalgic but coming from a family where kopitiam runs in our blood, I can't remember any kopitiam in the days when we were lads were so well decorated in such style that we see how a kopitiam is today. There might be some in Jonker Street but that too I'm so sceptical where I can confidently call him a blatant liar.

There was another 'connoisseur' who commented on some cakes that we sold in one of me mates shop. According to her, it tasted so much better that cake from Secret Recipe; since it was home-made. When I read that, I was in stitches. After exhausting myself from laughing, I grinned like a Cheshire Cat and later gave my self a Chelsea Smile after I got sick from ginning. I know for a fact that them cakes were bought from Giant. Enough said.

I could go on till kingdom comes vociferating about these write ups on food and places to eat by my fellow bloggers but I will not. I'm here to make friends not enemies. I learnt a very good lesson from my campus guard. It happened when we were enjoying our spliffs  in some geezers room. We thought we were in for it when he opened the room door to find everyone of us with a nice and fat rolled up spliff containing top quality Moroccan hashish only to say, "Hehheyyy…… make love not war." A very wise oldman. I like.