My friends in the highlands of Malaysia

Genetically attuned in the wild, these pair of brothers has heaps of wild board made into dinner

Rainbow. Acts like one too. Good for patting and nothing else.

GF 1 coupled with the Nokton Voigtlander at f/0.95

Rainbow again.

5 questions to answer this question.

5 questions to answer this question.

Why do you post process your photos?

1. When chefs are awarded the prestigious 3 Michelin stars, why is there the need for them to emphasise presentation in their food?
2. If models are chosen for their looks, why is there a need for makeup artist to paint their faces?
3. Where 10 million bottles of Channel No. 5 is sold every year, why is it sold in beautiful packaging?
4. How is it that the Venus de Milo and the Mona Lisa is portrayed at Musee du Louvre, curators find the need for that frame?
5. What is the logic behind the need for gorgeous looking lasses serving you when you walk into Alfred Dunhill of Mayfair when Dunhill has stamped its status amongst the top ten British luxury brands.  

London Is Not England

London Is Not England

Avi: 86 carats

Rosebud: Where?

Avi: London

Rosebud: London?

Avi: London

Avi’s colleague: London?

Avi: Yes, London. You know: fish, chips, cup of tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary fucking Poppins .......... LONDON !!!!

(From the film Snatch)

An accurate description of London; Capital Of The Empire. And here I stress, Capital Of The Empire. A melting pot of diverse culture having more colours than my water colour palette can offer. Any person travelling to London to experience the English way of life is a fool conceived by a minging idiot. The best bit is when this fool goes home bragging to their mates:

Fool: I just got back from England. Love it there. Love the people, love the food and its weather.

Fool’s mate: OOOOOoooooouuuuuuuuuu. Sweet. So where about were you in England?

Fool: LONDON

Fool’s mate: And?

Fool: London. You know: fish, chips, cup of tea, fantastic food: I had pizza at Leicester Square, XL Bacon at Oxford Street, doner kebab at Covent Garden, jumbo hotdogs & roasted almonds at some park, Mousaka at Camden Town; good weather but I couldn’t tell since the sky was grey all the time, Mary fucking Poppins .......... LONDON !!!!

Fool's mate: And those are food of the English people?
Fool: EEehhh..... I guess. I ate it in England.
Fool’s mate: No theatre play?
Fool: London is no Hollywood. Right? 

Fool’s mate: @_@

Fetish

A mate of mine who works in Kay Ell is back. The whole neighbourhood knows of his arrival when he is out washing cars. This chap has a fixation towards car washing. I will never try to decipher this habit of his. It doesn’t matter if it is his car, his parent’s or his brother’s. As long as it has four wheel and a steering, that will be good enough for him to perform his fetish. 

25mm f0.95 Voigtlander + GF1

As I remove my lens cover to capture his actions, an apparently surge of shyness overcame him. He said, “Eeeiih, don’t la take my picture. I very ugly now la. Please la.”

In action

Yet, he could still put on a smile.

All Quiet On The Western Front

All Quiet On The Western Front

I can’t remember when was the last I wrote something apart from a complain letter to Carrefour of France. Bloody frogs they are I say; without disrespecting Francois, Mathiz, Ehouarn, Martan, Jean-philippe and my other Français mates. I was cheated by this putain de merde hence my calling them as bloody frogs. 

I’ve been reading and looking at tonnes of photos online. Bought lots of gear before my trip back to England. Hence, me neglecting my blog.

As the saying goes, ‘All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy’, I tried some of my camera gear during the recent bank holiday. Although the results wasn’t up to my expectation but I’ve learn a lot about their limitation and has now figured out a way around them.

Land of bad weather, cup of tea and Mary Poppins, I’m coming home.

Slow shutter at midday with a variable ND filter. Sharpness is crap. We'll see how it turns out with other samples.

Economics, Wealth and Face Slapping.

There are times where you feel like slapping someone. Those pigs in ‘Angry Bird’ that won’t die, drivers in front of you or a minger that talks non stop about how beautiful she is.

This happened to me and my mate Simon while we were at the pub sometime last week. An old friend, I supposed, came uninvited sitting next to us and started yapping and whining about everything wrong in her life; which was everything, while we were happily contributing to the Irish economy by enjoying a couple of pints of Guinness. We were supposed to contribute to the Oxfordshire economy with some ‘Old Speckled Hen’ but as the saying goes, “Beggars Can’t Be Choosers”. 

Let me make it clear. It wasn’t her breath that did it. It wasn’t because she wasn’t fit. It wasn’t because she had one too many. It wasn’t because she was criticising Simon & me.  It wasn’t because of her mom who called her in the middle of her yabber yabber yap yap. It wasn’t because of her slurring speech. It wasn’t because of her criticising Kuantan. It wasn’t because we were forced to agree to all thing said by her. It wasn’t her fake Australian accent too. 

So what was it then? 

It was her bloody tits. 

She hasn’t got any of it. 

It is like a rubber tree been tapped dry for latex. 

The only difference is, a rubber tree contributes to the community while her hole in that face don’t. 

Girl Power

I agree with feminist groups. I like the idea of Men & Women are equals. As a matter of fact, I think I would join a feminist group and fight for women’s rights. Here are some of my suggestions: 

• Unisex public toilets
• Every male patient has to be examined by a female doctor. Vice versa. Thus creating an equal number of doctors of different sex groups.
• Abolish ‘Women Only’ train coaches. It is an insult to the females' dignity. 
• In a game of badminton; Lee Chong Wei vs Yihan Wang. Abolish the current system where the only game the opposite sex can compete each other is the ‘mixed double’
• Since every F1 team have 2 drivers on the grid, every team has to have a female driver competing. Good for the sports, I say. Hot lasses in tight leather clothing!!!!
• In every flight travel, seats are allocated where it alternates between males and females. This ensure that a woman has 2 men sitting both her sides and a man has 2 women sitting at both his sides. 

I’ll fight tooth and nail for the above. Having said all of the above, there is one thing I might not try to change. That is male dancers. I'll ban every single one of them. Hey......guys..... sorry mate. I'm a feminist. 

Girl Power.